Alcohol-free Beer Causing Health Issues

The global trend towards non alcohol beers is causing unforeseen heath issues for those alcohol-free drinkers.

It appears natural yeast in the digestive system is fermenting the sugars from the drink and producing alcohol inside the body.  This is leading to uncomfortable and embarassing consequences for drinkers.  Digestive Fermentation is occuring in the gut, giving drinkers an unexpected buzz. 

One of the side affects from this digestive fermentation is an over abundance of flatulence. Consumers are experiencing bloating and an abnormal amount of farting.  This not only can can lead to embarassment for the consumer but also environment issues.

This amount of Co2 and methane being produced has come to the attention of the Green Party who have suggested that alcohol free drinkers should be included in our CO2 ommission calculations.  These drinkers chould be included in the same category as Cows farting on Dairy farms, as this could be damaging the environment.

While scientists are rapidly investigating this new Greenhouse challenge, one possible solution is the banning of alcohol free beer in New Zealand. Scientists believe this will be an immediate step to stop digestive fermentation and reduce alcohol farting. "Besides," says Dr Ima Joking, "We all know alcohol-free beer isn't really beer. So removing it from the shelves will fix this problem and remove confusion of a fake beer being called a beer."